CRUNCH TIME!

So, another few weeks have gone by since my last entry and we've gotten a few weeks closer to seeing Jeremiah again. Our paper link chain is getting much shorter these days! But, the reason I'm writing is to shed some light on the "Your kids get crazier as homecoming gets closer". Maybe it's because they sense you're excited/stressed. Excited because you don't have to change all those poopy diapers by yourself! Stressed because the whole house needs a good scrubbin' and you get nothing done because.... the kids won't sleep! So, yeah. Any other time it wouldn't be that big of a deal, just wait until the girls cooperate and stuff. But, it's CRUNCH TIME! That means there is not time to wait a few days and say... eh, I'll get to it later. It just doesn't happen that way! So, each day up until he comes home needs to be extremely successful. Not to mention that I just recently moved (about a month ago now). So... TOTALLY STRESSFUL! I definitely feel like I've been through it all. Although... some icing on the cake has been actually getting our registration sticker (after 2 months) and then getting the washer and dryer from our friends. There are things I haven't washed in such a long time! I'm glad I finally have the means to get it done. Which also means, loads and loads of laundry! I need to rewash everything that has been sitting for the past 8 months so he has something to wear that doesn't smell like a box or outside. Oh, and speaking of cake, I need to make one for him too the day before he gets home. So, a lot to do and a little bit of time. I'm so glad that he's been safe though. That is such a blessing! Well, I'm sure I'll be writing again real soon!

Update

Just taking a break from 'life' and decided to write. The girls are growing and learning every day. Julia's first tooth broke through her gums on Tuesday. She now is very close to crawling, she reaches ahead of herself, then scoots to get to where she wants. So, an army crawl with a little bit of real crawling in there too. So, I'm sure it won't be long for that milestone. The girls get along very well. They are good sisters to each other. I hope they will learn to be close friends. I'm continuing to unpack and get things organized so that I don't have to worry about reorganizing for the rest of the time that we live here. Our new place is very quiet. I think they made the walls pretty thick so that most of the outside noise does just that, stays outside! Last night I got together with some friends and had a good time visiting with them. I feel so bad that I haven't been able to hang out more with people since I have the extra baggage of two children. I went shopping today and had the hardest time with the girls. I anxiously await the day that I can leave them with Jeremiah and I can actually go shopping ALONE. What a concept! I am just so - wow. I just am really excited about that. I hope he doesn't think that I don't love him because I am leaving the girls with him more when he finally returns home. I just can't wait to have that 'freedom'. Then there's Jeremiah. He's ready to be home, can't blame him because I'm ready for him to be home too! I look at pictures of him and wonder how I am going to react to seeing him for the first time in almost a year. He just seems so distant. Not only physically, but emotionally too. It's hard to describe what I am feeling. I just don't know how to say it really. I am so excited for him to be home, but I am scared to death too. I'm not going to know how to act. I think I'll end up treating it like a first date where you don't know if they like you, but you really think they are cute. I just know I am going to be shy and not know what to say to him. I don't want to react that way, but I don't know how else to act. I've lost 40 lbs since he's been gone. Is he going to like the new me? Is he going to love our daughter (the one he never met)? How will Melanie react to him? What if he's not attracted to me!?
Then there's the side of me that is angry. Angry at him for leaving me alone to have our baby, for making me deal with all these hard things on my own, and for not being more excited about coming home.
Then there's the overwhelming part of me that is just lost. Lost without him by my side. Just wanting him to be home. But, that will eventually happen. Well, I gotta run.... take care!