TOFW

I am taking a few minutes to write down my experience at Time Out for Women (TOFW).  Anyone out there who hasn't gone to one yet, really needs to go. You will come back from your approx. 24 hours away feeling completely rejuvenated - you will be a better you! You can check out their website here.  Hopefully they will be coming to a city not too far from you next year!

This years theme is: "All things are possible to him that believeth"  Mark 9:23  It is also about choosing to BECOME.  We were challenged to become a little more of the woman we are meant to be.  We had the most amazing speakers that shared the most amazing experiences with us! We heard from two amazing music performers over the weekend (Jenny Oaks Baker & Jericho Road).  If you have a chance to listen to their music, you should. 

Here are just a few things I learned/was reminded of:
* put our trust and faith in the Lord
* quote by a General Authority (paraphrased) "If a woman is too busy to pray, she is busier than the Lord wants her to be!"
* L.D.S. also stands for "Let's Do Something!" - always being anxiously engaged in the Lord's work/something good
* (this one is a little embarrassing to share) President Hinckley's quote, (again paraphrased) "If you complain about life, it's because you think only of yourself...."
* Elder Scott's quote, "We become what we want to be by consistently being what we want to become."
* REMEMBER: who your children REALLY are and ALWAYS remember the Savior
*try something hard that makes you rely on the Lord
*Just be YOU!  don't try to be anyone other than yourself
*success is measured MUCH differently in the world than to our Heavenly Father
*every once in a while, take 24 hour ALONE and AWAY from your family to rest your heart and mind, evaluate your life, and make plans for the future! it's important!


These are only a few things that I was able to refresh in my mind/spirit this past weekend.  There were so many wonderful lessons shared and of course I came away with a list a mile long to change about myself.  However, this time I am going to take it one step at a time and each day do my best to become a little more of the woman I am meant to be. 

The Big Handful (5)!!

My second-born has finally joined the ranks of the "handfuls".  While she has been a handful on her own pretty much her whole life, she is now official.  My dear girl turned 5 on the 13th.   Five years ago, on a Friday no less, this little girl came into the world.  I really truly love this little dramatic child, she keeps my life interesting - to say the VERY least!  With all of that said though, she truly is an amazing child.  Her capacity to love is endless and has been found including the new (shy) children at school in her "creative play" moments.  She had pretty much everyone's name memorized by the end of the first day of school.  I find her saying "hello (fill in their name)" and occasionally "hello (fill in child's name)'s mom!"  - she knows EVERYONE!!   While she will on occasion blame her bad behavior on "I'm just a curious girl" (yes, she has been documented as saying that) she truly is pure gold at heart.  Her excitement about life reminds me of a young girl I knew once.  Most days I am certain Heavenly Father sent her to our family to teach me how to be like that again.  Thank you for being so pure Julia, and for being able to teach me about life and what's really important!  LOVE YOU and Happy Birthday!

Moments

There are most definitely days that I wish I had handled things better as a mother.  I wish I had a better sense of humor to be able to look at the funny side of things or to maybe make light of something that really in the grand scheme of things isn't that serious.  Since I have had 4 children now, that means 3 whole solid years of my life have been spent being pregnant.  THREE years!!!  That's 3 tours in Iraq for a soldier, definitely longer than my son has even been alive, and pretty much 4 -5 deployments back to back!  How insane is that!?  Four tiny little bodies and spirits were depending on me and my body to do the job right and bless them with a body here on earth.  Four lives to sustain, nourish, and protect.  Once they arrive is when the really humbling part starts: being trusted to RAISE these four little lives into the people they need to be - strong in the gospel and on the track the Lord needs them to be to fulfill their missions in life.  ACK!  Now... it gets a little scarier too:  out of the four so far, I am raising 3 future mothers.  I already know I don't want them to be just like me, I want them to be better mothers than that - so I need to step it up and become the kind of mother I would love for them to be to their children.

I was recently released from my calling in the YW program for our ward.  When Sunday rolled around and I went upstairs to get changed out of my church clothes after church - my girls asked me, "Mom... you don't have any meetings?  You don't have to go to the Bishop's house?  You get to stay with us today?"  me: "No, I don't have to go to any meetings, and YES I get to stay with you today.  Mommy doesn't have to work with the YW anymore.  No more thursday nights up at the church either.  Only daddy will have to go."  After I told them all of that, they CHEERED!!!  They were so ecstatic that I would be home with them more often and that's when it hit me.  My family definitely needed for me to be released.... in a really bad way.  I know that I felt exhausted (in more ways than one) and really needed the break - but I didn't realize how badly I needed it until my children clued me in.  It broke my heart to know that my calling had effected them so much and that they were hurting for my attention and love.

So, I'm turning over a new leaf now.  I have baby number 4 on the OUTside of my body now and I am feeling great!  I am happy, I can breathe, and I can dedicate more time to my family and work on myself!  I love it when life gives you a second (no matter how short) to take a deep breath.  I feel like this is my second. 

Week Old

So, we've made it a week so far since our newest angel came from Heaven.  I cannot believe how quickly the time goes, especially when they are new.   I look at myself sometimes and think "Wow, I have a 6 year old?".  In my mind, I am still 21!!  Before I am medically "okay-ed" to start working out like crazy to achieve the "me" I want to be, excuse me if I look as though I have given birth to 4 children.... all in my short 21 26 years of life!  Anyway.... here she is at a week old!  Can I just say that I love my little girl to death!? SO proud of her!  (sorry about the pic... it's the best one I could get.  The flash kept making her blink her eyes)